A series of Madness
by Kanalith
Summary: Just another oneshot series about borderlands. These might come out frequently. Sorry guys for a long wait, I'm working on a new chapter about the death of a siren and the rise of a great power, or a two part chapter.
1. Zer0 and the Skag

Been a long time since I've wrote some fanfics (does about 3 months count?) so these might come out not so often.

Zer0 was out in the wasteland, he had no idea how he got there but he was pretty sure that Krieg threw him off Sanctuary. To add to his problems, he was being watched. He knew what it felt like since he was an assassin so he has had some times when people tried to kill him by hiding in the shadows. Zer0 whipped around just in time to see a skag pup tear through his armor, exposing the suit's mechanics which meant he could die of a little amount of nitrogen gas and adrenaline in his system. Zer0 somehow didn't know that he could breathe oxygen also instead of nitrogen and adrenaline.

Zer0 turned around and said "This is the end skag/ no one rips through my armor/ it is time to die" and digistructed his sword. The skag shivered with fear and for once in the assassin's life he took pity on his target since the skag was innocent and that he seemed to be breathing fine. Zer0 sighed and said "What the hell am I doing!" and slumped down next to the skag. The skag hopped on his lap and he petted the skag.

The next few hours were awkward because he started talking to the skag, he knew the skag was sleeping but he didn't give a damn. Eventually he decided to search for a teleport station, so he pick up the skag and walked. It took a long time and he had already taken out a few bandit camps when he heard a sound. He ran to cover before a shower of bullets covered the dusty plains of the borderlands. He placed down his sleeping skag and took out his sniper rifle. He took a few second to find the target before a giant psycho fell on the target, seemingly a goliath. And shot the psycho.

He walked to the psycho's corpse and saw that it was Krieg. "Holy shit Krieg/why must my comrade fall now/ he will just respawn" Then took his rifle and his pet and kept walking.

Soon he found a teleport station and picked up his skag and said "Let's go back to sanctuary" They teleported and as soon as they got there they found Krieg who said "KILL LITTLE SKAG!" Zer0 started running with the skag on his trail. Zer0 climbed up the side of the Crimson Raider HQ and dropped the skag off in his room. That's when he saw a big hole in the side of his room, he found some rubble and made a pen for the skag and went to Lilith and said "Why is there a hole in my room!" Lilith looked at him and replied "Why aren't you talking in haiku?" Zer0 sighed and said "Right now I don't give a fuck! Krieg is trying to kill my new pet and I need a real place to hide it!" Lilith shook her head and said "Hyperion found a weak spot in the shield and that was near your room. About the pet, what is it?" Zer0 said "Skag" Lilith walked away saying "The only good skag is a dead one"

That moment Krieg finally got onto the roof and ran towards Zer0's room. The skag jumped out of the pen and made its way downstairs to follow its master. Krieg finally got to Zer0's room and made his way to where the skag was. Zer0 found his skag near him and ran for the only person who could help him….. Brick.

Zer0 ran but Krieg was close on his tail so Zer0 led him near a wall and when he was near he dodged it thus Krieg comically hit the wall. Zer0 got to Brick and said "I have a new pet and I need a pen for it." Brick looked at the assassin and said "let me guess, skag." Zer0 looked in shock but Brick couldn't tell because of Zer0's mask. Brick led Zer0 to a new pen and placed the skag there and said "there happy?" Zer0 left triumphantly until he ran into Krieg who yelled "WHERES LITTLE SKAG MUST KILL!" Zer0 said "he is dead" Krieg walked away sadly and Zer0 shouted "YEAH!" Claptrap came over and said "Yeah!" Zer0 looked at Claptrap and said "Way to kill the mood Claptrap." And walked away.


	2. I got that boom Boom BOOM

Tiny Tina was walking around the Tundra Express in a sleepy fashion carrying her new gun, Death Bunny. Last night there was a party in the Crimson Raider HQ. The party was crazy and somehow she remembers something like Zer0 taking his mask off and Gaige making out with Deathtrap which ended with Gaige respawning. A bandit then jumped in front of her and said "Little girl give me…" He never finished his sentence; he was blown to bits before he could say anything more. Then she fell asleep on the dust path.

She woke up in a cage hanging above a small fire. Around her were a few psychos, one of which was shrouded in darkness. She saw that she was in her house in her torture chamber (long story how she got it) and one of the psychos said "IS IT TIME MASTER FLESHSTICK!" Tina's jaw dropped, this was the psycho that seemingly killed her parents and the one the vault hunter helped kill. Then she thought New U station.

Fleshstick went out of the shadows "Impressive how I'm alive. Isn't it?" Tina then got confused, a smart psycho? Is that possible? "Yes you might be wondering why I'm smart and how you can't talk?" said Fleshstick "One I died at the same time as a super genius so I got his old brain retaining my memories and he got that… rotten psycho brain I used to have. And I duct taped your mouth." While he said this Tina used her tongue to free the duct tape and when it was free she said "You forgot this is my torture cage! I got that boom Boom BOOM!" Fleshstick's eyes widened as the bottom joints blew up letting Tina down. She grabbed her gun and shot the other psychos until Fleshstick remained. "No I can't die like this!" screamed Fleshstick. Tina smiled "I have a better idea!" Fleshstick shuddered as Tina took out a whip.

A few hours later Tina found a newspaper where the crossword puzzle wasn't filled in. She went back home and sat on her chair and said "What is the capitol of Pandora?" a terrified Fleshstick said "I won't tell you." Tina unfurled her whip and whipped Fleshstick. "Opportunity!" Fleshstick said, Tina went back to her chair and said "It fits!"

**If you guys have read my other fanfic, Double a douche then you should know that story won't involve what happens with Fleshstick because that never happens in that storyline. Peace out!**


	3. Miss Moxxi's Fireworks

**This chapter I randomly made since I thought maybe Gearbox would make a free dlc with a Miss Moxxi gun. I decided to named the mystery gun the Miss Moxxi's fireworks, and it shoots fireworks like the swordsplosion with its swords. And I know it's too late for a new year's chapter but fuck the rules that tell me to make a new year's chapter after a month or so after the real deal.**

Axton returned from his last quest from Moxxi. "I have the five bandit heads you wanted." Said Axton triumphantly "and my payment!" Moxxi then went under the counter and brought out a dusty gun, from the looks of it was a Hyperion gun. "I found no use for it during my stay with the Hodunks so this is just a sort of holiday gift." Axton took the gun and aimed it "What's it?" he then said "The name of it is the Miss Moxxi's Fireworks. I'm not entirely sure what it is, probably a assault rifle or shotgun. This has been adapted to shoot fireworks."

After Axton went out and went up to the teleport station and teleported to Opportunity. He headed straight to the building Blake lived at, killing the guards. He took the elevator up to Blake's floor and went to Blake's secretary and shouted "I have important business with Blake!" the secretary fainted after that. He marched into the room and went to Blake and said "What is this gun!" Blake, new president of Hyperion after Jack died said "Axton, I thought we had an agreement not to talk again since what happened to Jack." Axton then countered by throwing the gun into Blake's arms. "Oh, I never thought I'd see Miss Moxxi's Fireworks again. This is a new type of gun, the hotshot, mainly used for looks. I gave this to Moxxi after her first underdome burnt because a Hyperion ship crashed into it about 40 years ago." Axton's jaw dropped, 40 year, Moxxi must be at least _ years old. "Yes Mr. what was your last name again?" Axton stuttered for a while as Moxxi's real age sank into his head "Bigunze" Blake then continued "Ok Mr. Bigunze I know this type even though it was highly restricted to the other Hyperion units because I invented it." This just shell shocked Axton less than Moxxi's age "Can it fire rockets?" Blake looked genuinely stumped "Maybe…" but Axton loaded it up and fired it at the door. Just then Handsome Jack respwaned and walked in the office door only to be hit by a rocket. "Was that…." Said Axton and Blake said "Yes that was."

Axton went to the exit of the building but then thought of a funny video he saw on the echonet and thought that if the guys could do it so could he. This video was rocket jump by Freddiew and this stunt instantly fail and blew off Axton's arms and legs and is now somewhat like Robocop.

**Yes this is the long waited chapter and it's shorter than I expected and yes I just watched Robocop the new one and it was epic! And Jack respawns every now and then and gets blown up somehow.**


End file.
